Singing with the Spirit

Tonight I sang at our Relief Society Birthday Dinner. The song was Something Extraordinary (music by Lex de Azevedo, Lyrics Carol Lynn Pearson) and it defines that those small and simple things we do everyday add up over time into something extraordinary. That our daily acts of service and kindness really do matter in the overall scheme of things. I believe that.

It is always a challenge for me to sing as "Tamari" in front of an audience or congregation than it is to be a character in a play and sing. I feel so vulnerable, my singing voice is an intimate part of me. I am bearing my soul for all to hear and perhaps judge, there is no mask or fourth wall to hide behind. But the real kicker is that when I sing for a church program of any kind where there is a message more spiritual in nature there is the added element of me feeling the Holy Ghost as I sing. For me, my heart pounds, my chest has a burning sensation, at times I feel like I am choking back tears and my body shakes ever so slightly as I testify through music. It is not far from what I experience when I bear testimony. But the difference is, a testimony is given through the spoken word and a Hymn or a song with a sacred message has the power and majesty of musical accompaniment. Nothing brings the Spirit of the Holy Ghost more immediately than sacred music.

I find that I never perform technically as well singing these types of songs. I mean, it is slight, but I notice a difference. Not sure if listening ears (except maybe Roger) could hear a difference. But it is obvious to me. I love that I am able to testify through music, but there is this small part of me that wonders if I will ever reach a point when I will sing the song technically perfect as well as feel the Spirit. I have noticed that songs I have sung for years I seem to do better technically. Probably because the muscle memory kicks in. Interesting...

The bottom line though is that the whole purpose of these songs are for the congregation to feel the Spirit. To know what is being sung is truth. So, I have to turn off my ego, experience emotional and physical discomfort and allow the Spirit to do it's job. I know it may sound a bit crazy, why put myself through that? But I feel that if a loving Heavenly Father gave me this talent then I need to share it regardless. And I do. I love it. I jump at the chance when I am asked to sing in church. It truly is my honor and I am humbled every time by the experience.