Always...Patsy Cline Part II: Miracles

 "We see God's miracles in His wonderous work and in our own personal lives." Neil L. Andersen

In a previous blog post I explained the history of my vocal issues and since 1999 I have been on a literal journey after suffering a major trauma to strengthen my voice and recuperate with a balanced approach. There is still some residual to this day that made itself quite apparent as I worked on the songs for "Always...Patsy Cline". I kept experiencing that "crackly/yodel" type thing on a consistent basis. How her songs sat in my voice and the nuances that are signature 'Patsy' seemed to exacerbate things. I finally had a realization that turned everything around. I wrote in my journal on February 21, 2021, "...my voice was giving me a lot of issues and I was really frustrated and discouraged. Later that night...I got the impression that I needed to include Heavenly Father in my process of learning the show. So, on Friday night I knelt down before I warmed up and prayed for Heavenly Father to help me.

I asked for His help in figuring out my vocal issues and in figuring out each song and how I could best perform them. I also felt vulnerable and told Him that if I needed to turn down this role because my voice wasn't up to the task that I would be guided to know if I had to do that. I told Him I really wanted to do it but, asked Him to guide me either way. I just needed to know so I could let the theater know if I could do it or not. I got up from my prayer feeling tremendous faith that He would guide me and let me know what I needed to do. 

The instant I started warming up I began to receive all this revelation. I was being told what vocal exercise to do, one after the other. It was like I was getting a vocal lesson from the Holy Ghost. And then I started to sing the songs and the same thing started to happen. With every song I would get direction on what to do and how to do it. I was overwhelmed by the specific way in which our Father in Heaven was helping me. And to top it all off, I got this overwhelming feeling that I needed to do this show and He would help me as long as I turned to Him and relied on Him. 

Since that night I have had some wonderful break throughs and real clarity on what I need to do to prepare. I also have a lot to memorize (for both roles) and have noticed that that has been coming easily to my brain." 

From that day forward everything changed. I still had bad days that led me to question the confirmation of staying with the show as the Patsy Understudy. There were a couple times I wanted to call my director, Kelly, and tell him I could not do it. But, the Lord kept telling me to stick with it. This whole process led me to seek out professional help as well. My first couple music rehearsals with Kelly helped me so much. He coached me on some of the issues I was having. I saw an ENT and a vocologist who normally would have taken months to get into see, but due to a cancellation just before I called I was able to get in THAT day and start that whole process before rehearsals started. They gave me tools I was lacking to move forward. I found a vocal coach who continues to help me in ways I never thought possible. Just miracle after miracle. People being placed in my path, and personal revelation coming from God. And the ultimate result is that I am gaining a stronger relationship with Him. I am learning that He cares deeply about what I care about. I have come to know for certain that He knows each of us intimately and perfectly. WE. ARE. HIS.

I now pray before my own practice time, before rehearsal and before a performance. Not like I used to pray. This is not just a ritual. It is a conversation about specific things that I need for that particular event. In return I put in the effort. I don't think it is always wise to expect blessings and miracles from heaven if it is one sided. I practice, I rehearse, I also find the time daily to express my gratitude, repent of my sins and continue to strive to do better in all aspects of my life. I think one of the most valuable realizations I have come to know through all of this is that the things we do daily - the consistent exercise, nutrition, scripture study, singing, memorizing lines, training the dog, loving and communicating with those we love - will eventually lead to lasting results. If we want to improve ourselves, there is no shortcut. It is that daily consistency that gets us where we need to be. 

If we can have that kind of discipline and the mindset that goes along with it...well, we can just about do anything. I say, just about, because the final piece of the equation is relying on the Lord. He will take us beyond what we thought we were capable of. Because of His grace, mercy and love, we can reach heights we never thought possible. That is what is happening for me. I owe Him everything. It has taken YEARS to get to this point in my vocal journey and things are starting to shift in ways I never thought possible. But, with Him...anything is possible.

PC: Leave It To Leavitt (the 2nd and 4th photo capture Cori Cable Kidder as Patsy Cline)